First, word is you’re dating Dominic aka Merry the Hobbitt Monaghan. I know you’re stuck in Hawaii and have to socialize with the cast and crew, but c’mon, Charlie?

When you get a chance, be a hon, and have Sunday brunch with me at Pastis here in NYC. We’ll make Page 6, undoubtedly, but what the heck.

In this Esquire photospread, I see you’re showing off your ass in 4 of the photos. Don’t feel threatened by the likes of Nikki! She might have a nice rack, but she has the face of a wrestling coach.

Some advice: get a movie deal. Paolo hit the big time in “300,” you could do it too. This series has jumped the animatronic Mr. Jaws, and they’re runnin’ out of Losties to bury in the sand. Darling, we love you as “Freckles” on Lost, buy you should really hook up with Damon (Matt, that is, not the funny looking bald producer), and do a romantic comedy. Please, don’t do one of those Jennifer Garner roles–they say you might be playing Wonder Woman. Resist the temptation.

I’ve decided to offer my services to write an episode that does justice to your wonderful free-spirited nature. You single-handedly smite Smokey, find the sub that Locke didn’t really blow up, and wind up returning to the real world as a vegan TV producer living in Brooklyn Heights.

That kinda sucks if it’s true. It says that it was published 3/30/2007 though. Not that I doubt that you’re right.

Oh and to make this post at all worthwhile I’d say I like how she seems to have a respect for the viewers and their intelligence.

So we’re half way there then. XD