Curious note from the Dharma Initiative

Namaste.

I am pleased to announce that registered recruits can now log in and download your personalized Volunteer Assessment Dossier outlining your full test results as well as your position within the Dharma Initiative.

I want to personally congratulate you on behalf of everyone at the Dharma Initiative for your hard work and diligence during our testing process.

We hope that you are happy with your results. We certainly are. The tests were extremely challenging and the aptitude and excellence displayed far exceeded our expectations.

Now that you are in possession of your results I am sure you are asking the obvious question: what’s next?

Our plan was that together we would commence a glorious adventure: the revival of the Dharma Initiative using the myriad talents of all our amazing new recruits. We imagined not just fulfilling long abandoned goals but taking the Dharma Initiative to a new level of greatness as an organization promoting the peaceful social and technological advancement of all humankind.

Then the financial crisis struck.

Sadly, our benefactors were not immune to this crisis. In fact, unconfirmed reports suggest that much of the money designated for the work of the new Dharma Initiative was tied up in highly leveraged mortgage derivatives. This, however, cannot be confirmed because, I am sorry to report, the principals representing the benefactors – my employers – have gone missing. Based on bills still coming into our office we believe they are somewhere in South America.

This stunning reversal of fortune has forced us to abandon our ambitious plans. In fact, absent this funding, the Dharma Initiative was forced to make the only sensible decision we had available: we sold the Dharma Initiative to the television show LOST.

While this might strike some of you as a shock, the reason for this was not simply that they were the only bidder. As the only remaining Dharma Initiative employee who had not fled the country, I felt that at the very least the show would be able to keep the spirit of the Dharma Initiative alive and in the public consciousness until such time as a reversal of the reversal of our economic fortunes occurs.

It is with a heavy heart that I must bid you farewell. Despite my fervent commitment to the mission of the Dharma Initiative, the realities of a broken marriage, heavy casino debt and some unfounded police charges have required that I change my present circumstances. It is with great excitement that I can inform you of my pending senior sales management job at a large multi-brand auto dealership in Dubai. I have enjoyed our brief association more than I can ever express, and if you are ever in the Middle East and need a car, please e-mail me for a special “Dharma rate”.

In the meantime, you will hear shortly from LOST showrunners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. They will explain to you their future plans for the Dharma Initiative and how these plans might affect you.

Thank you again, personally, for your unflagging commitment and support. I hope our paths will one day cross again. In the meantime may the spirit of the island guide you.

Namaste.

Hans Van Eeghen
Head of Recruiting
The Dharma Initiative

I notice as I’m posting this that Hammer also just posted it in the comments of another thread. I can’t make much out of it other than it seems to be an official dumping of the promotion. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I never really understood where this project was going and it never piqued my interest like I was expecting. Just my opinion. What do you guys think?

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12 Responses to Curious note from the Dharma Initiative

  1. MissKim says:

    The letter is a strange ending for a long strange trip. However, I must say that I enjoyed the taking the tests. My position as a “communications specialist” would come as no surprise to anyone that knows me. Hopefully there will be some answers to many of the questions we have all had about this project.

  2. DavidB says:

    Gotta admit when this hit my inbox my immediate reaction was there WAS a big plan but now it is being scrapped. I guess we’ll see what CBS does with it now, they have a large database of Lost fans that are rightfully going to be pissed they gave their info and time to CBS, for what?

  3. izikavazo says:

    I had no problem with the game until this email came out. The tests were fun and I enjoyed them, but this email was unecessary. I actually thought that the game was over when they divided us into White Swan and Black Swan groups. Oh well, it’s over, and I have to admit this one was far more memorable than find815.
    - izi
    @DavidB – I hate to be the person to tell you this, it’s ABC not CBS.

  4. jeramy says:

    i’m with you!

  5. ARenee says:

    My reaction was wait-WTF? Then I started wondering where this was going. Hans moving to Dubai? Too convenient, too contrived. I smell cover-up ;)

  6. DocH says:

    This was all part of the plan… they said they’d start doing stuff in mid-December… so four weeks before that (now) they give us all a pinch in the butt to get the ‘fan’ fare going again. (read marketing ploy) Cuse, Lindelof and Abrams always pull the strings on all things LOST… even with ABC TV / Disney Domestic running national distribution.

    – - – - – - – -
    Dharma has me coming on-board as a
    “Psychologist” in the
    “Human Interaction Analysis Program”.

  7. TLK says:

    Dumb question, I got the email, but when I went to the dharma wants you website to download my dossier, the site was blank….did I miss somthing?

  8. Andy H says:

    Well, I am a little upset about this change of events. The funny thing is that from what I can tell, everyone has been given positions in something that they would be great at. My position was going to be a proof reader in the the communications division. How weird would it have been to go do something like this. It would almost be like a camp you would go away to as a kid.

  9. SpinPapi says:

    it sounds like a hoax. they don’t break the fourth wall on this show. it’s about passion and drama and exploration, through our world and our souls. it’s got scifi elements that egg us on. but it’s not about jerking people around. this sounds like jerking. sold to LOST? what?!? that kills the whole premise and mystery. if anything, it may be a joke from the producers saying “sorry we fucked up again on this Dharma test shit.” my best guess anyway.

    what do others think?

  10. K-Dogg says:

    Yay! I’m a…gardener!!!???? I went to 4 years of college and took all those Dharma tests to be a gardener?!

  11. K-Dogg says:

    *Inappropriate Cock*

  12. Adam says:

    so…what’s the deal with this? does this all still apply? can anyone give me a brief update as to what this means?

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